pennypampers's Blog

to my sister who is dead...

i can't change you

not no more

i can't talk to you

i can't play these songs

and call you up

not no more

i can't watch true blood

and tell you eric northum is so hot

i can't tell you i love you, good night, talk tomorrow, sleep tight...

have a good day at work

there are a days that are nights

when sometimes i am up and i don't forget you are gone

but i remember what it was like almost like

when you were in my thoughts when you were here

when a year was ten years past

and the past was not the past at all

and there was a show four big chairs

there would just be no doubt

and we would be in our minds in a set time

away in a journey

in another time

and perhaps no

it just what it is

is what i was told

seconds down

and you were out

of course i imagine it felt an eternity

all the days all the days all the days

you are on my mind

the book of faces still hold you dear

the people still flock to you

day in and day out

writing their words of love and loss

you live on even in now in cyberlife

even though your life blood no longer is

your smile larger than life

i am tempted to leave

just to be

just to see

just to take away

just to dance the night away

in a distant dream among the distance trees

we are all so lovely

is our dis-ease

in rememberance i remember more than i knew

as i hear through the words of the mourning

the secrets i never knew you kept

just because you loved me-

so smile my dear one

my dear one

my loved one

my dear one


return of saturn

Cyberspace Dreaming

Enter my mind


and do a time


and no wonder


it's time


to go away


or just stay or ask a question


or wither away




is no fun


the puking


the sudden death looking in your eye


the crying, the lingering, the lonliness, the sadness


the song on the radio


playing The Sorentinos


and I can almost find myself


in this time in my mind


in this space in the book of faces


but the phone won't reach me


and the dream wont teach me


We are all watching me


the good girl that I am


there is time


there is time


there is time


just to be or simply to see


or maybe


just maybe


I just got off track on this one...

if what...

if i was doing what

if i was doing not

if i knew what i was doing


figure it out



somewhere in my mind

in a state of mind

in a moment of mine

when maybe i could


oh no

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in the image of my mind I try to be fine

but the line  is twisted and not true

and suddenly all the words are double spaced

and now what was simple is much more complicated

and  simply trying to be too hard

we laugh we cry and all we have to do is act naturally

at least now I can listen to yesterday and today

and all the order is as I remember

but still the question remains:

who are you and who am I?

and does it even matter?

I've seen web of lies

I know what you are after

on your book of faces

just remember I am not the Lotus

I am you as you are me as we are all together

so be peace

and don't get hung up on the digits in cyberspace


however being

lost in this moment

come to find that I am nowhere been

always thought

there would be more to be

I knew there could have been more

there is so much to be

just in letting go


A bit of laughter

a bit of relief

a smile

a hug

a missed friend

a found friend

a new world


In a Thought of Mind

In a steal of time
And a distant dream
Upon a shore divided
A moon above an ocean of blue
And stars too
A world divided
Above and below
The three worlds you know
A thought consumes
Who once you were
Time that has gone by
Be not afraid of tomorrow
For it will never be
All of now is now
All that we have

Dream Dance

A moment of bliss
Upon a lake
A bend through the road
Of mind
frame of time
Don't believe these words
They are just made up
In mind
A tune sometimes out of time
But truth just the same
Just a bore
Just a game
Just a dream
What a mind
Blown a fuse
In backward
All just a dance

The World is Coming to an End

Don't you know?
Ninjas vs Pirates
Zombie Responders vs Zombies
It's a neat trick
In a destine world
In a destine time
A smooch
A kiss
Partners in crime
Doing time
In a state of mind
Copping a feel
Turning down the care
Priceing up the bill
It's BurgerTime medicine
With an  angelic appeal
Something crazy went away
But not because it did
What is budget cuts
Bring me down to the old
Stomping ground


Danger Dolls

The bad feeling goes away
The bad feeling never leaves
Inside outside
There is never news
That can make you hide
You live your life
You try to be alive
You have been hurt
In a deeper way
You have been betrayed
By those you never thought could
You worry that you did this
Somehow you brought this on
But don't you believe that
Don't you believe that
Lost in the rift of fear

What Defines Now?

Perhaps nothing defines now
Perhaps nothing is now
You take a step away
To gain perspective
Then you have to take another step
Just to understand what you not
Thought you knew
Everything is always changing
Yet doesn't everything remain oddly the same?
Something you  knew now
You did then but did not know
But you did know
Just did not know
But know now
Just the same?

A Neat Trick

That lasted just one day
Or maybe just a lifetime
But just the same it was
A neat trick
To be sure of that
That lead you astray
That fateful day

Burning into the Shadows

Awaking at dawn
Living life out in the lawn
A turbulent sunrise
A subtle demise
A missive dream
All the way awake

Distance Tree Distant Dream

All the way through my mind
I see it folllowing all the time
The Distance Tree
On my mind
I know the time has gone by
I know the time is to cry
I know I was not there
Except only in my mind
So much
So little
Just now out of time
But still...

all the way a view of mind

never that we know
the mind to be
a soul
a division
a distant dream
so let us be of pure heart
let us be of laughter
and yes even sunshine
but let us be moonlight too
and a shadow of a palm tree
all the way around us
and within
the laughter
the disquise
the hippy trippy way
we once stood on the precipice
of all understanding
then found us confused
the generations come and go
the words the songs the images
that breed and bleed
the world is coming around
as always as it does
and we too are coming around
and once we let it all go
we truely laugh and smile
as only a child
in the body of a decades heart and soul


out of tired sky
we yawn awake
awaiting the new day

we are so much sun

We are so much sun-
We are so much light-
We are something
We can not even think of

We are trying to be free-
Now we know
It's a punishment-
It's a vice-
It's a device to set us free
It's a overwhelming desire
To be put in chains
And shackled to the world
Of time

And people who do not see-
Do not understand-
There is an end
To abbreviation

We often delight
In what we do not see
We are powerless to move
What we can not be

the thought

the thought
that silence will go away

just a laughter in my mind
a tune out of time

a laughter- a rise

in life that see

inbetween moments of being-
a space-

overly conscious
of a time to be-
we awaken in a bed of  flowers
unable to see
the truth that is

under the blue light

protect me as long as you can

1-20 of hundreds of Blogs   

Previous Posts
to my sister who is dead..., posted July 19th, 2014, 1 comment
Cyberspace Dreaming, posted June 25th, 2014
if what..., posted June 1st, 2014
oh no, posted May 2nd, 2014
stop, posted February 8th, 2014
dreaming, posted February 2nd, 2014
Today..., posted January 11th, 2014
In a Thought of Mind, posted September 15th, 2013
Dream Dance, posted September 15th, 2013
The World is Coming to an End, posted September 13th, 2013
Danger Dolls, posted September 10th, 2013
What Defines Now?, posted September 9th, 2013
A Neat Trick, posted September 8th, 2013
Burning into the Shadows, posted September 6th, 2013
Distance Tree Distant Dream, posted September 4th, 2013
all the way a view of mind, posted September 3rd, 2013
momentum, posted September 2nd, 2013
we are so much sun, posted September 1st, 2013
the thought, posted September 1st, 2013
under the blue light, posted August 30th, 2013
critical mass, posted August 28th, 2013
ring of fire, posted August 21st, 2013
desire engine, posted August 20th, 2013
awake, posted August 19th, 2013
Hmm, posted August 17th, 2013
Government Street, posted August 16th, 2013
Government Street, posted August 16th, 2013
Candy Train, posted August 14th, 2013
somewhere in mind, posted August 10th, 2013
dream of distance, posted August 8th, 2013
Under, posted August 3rd, 2013
spiderweb, posted August 1st, 2013
some where, posted July 31st, 2013
Out of my mind, posted July 28th, 2013
Standing Still of Mind, posted July 27th, 2013
Well? :), posted July 24th, 2013
stay happy, posted July 20th, 2013
In a distance, posted May 17th, 2013
Love, posted April 24th, 2013
Blackout, posted April 21st, 2013
day one: the wood chipper, posted April 4th, 2013
:), posted April 1st, 2013
Blue Scrub and ....tiles?, posted March 30th, 2013
complacency, posted March 30th, 2013
x, posted March 30th, 2013
Mask of Blue, posted March 23rd, 2013
Royal Blue, posted March 17th, 2013
scream in blue, posted March 16th, 2013
burning through the mind in time, posted March 16th, 2013
Blue Dress, posted March 15th, 2013
1-50 of hundreds of Blog Posts   

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